The last guy I went on a date with and I were texting about a month ago. He asked me what I was looking for. I think we always think about what we want. It's always something in the back of our minds. We want someone attractive. We want someone funny. We want someone well off. We want someone smart. We want the whole package - we want that trophy. There's no denying it. It's what we as humans are attracted to. So, while I sat on my bedroom floor, my mind distracted from the show on Netflix on my laptop, I tried to separate what I wanted from what I needed.
Now, before you judge me too hard, this is just my list of wants:
Of course I want my own piece of arm candy - someone physically out of my league. I want someone more attractive than any of my ex boyfriends. Any of the men that didn't want me. I wanted to prove to them I was worth more than what they thought I was when they saw me. When they saw us. I think everyone is that way. They want to win the break up or prove they're the better person.
And of course I want someone funny. We all want someone who is funny. Laughing is my favorite activity. Everyone is more attractive to me when they're laughing or smiling. Everyone has a beautiful way about them with they genuinely laugh or genuinely smile. Happiness is the most beautiful thing in the world. At least is it to me. I want to make someone truly happy. I want to be the reason they're laughing or smiling. The thought of bringing pure joy to someone's life is something that truly makes me happy for the future. For my future. For our future together.
I think being well off is something we care about. We live in a world that money is image and image is everything to a lot of people. What you drive, where you live, where you can go on vacation, what you can do on the weekend. As someone in their early 20s, I want to be successful and not have to worry about where rent money is going to come from or if I'll be able to pay my car payment, or even have enough gas to get me around before the next paycheck. But I have dreams of owning a boat before I own a home. I have a dream of having a nice, big backyard for my future kids. I have dreams of putting them through baseball and dance and whatever they want to play or do. I want opportunities for them. More opportunities than I ever had.
And to top off the 'want' list: intelligence. Have you ever had those late night conversations with someone about anything and everything? Once, I was on a late night road trip, and while everyone else was asleep, I had been up with the driver talking about anything and everything to cross our minds. It was one of those conversations that you crave, or at least I do. I want to be able to lay in the grass and talk about life. I want to talk about what I want for my life, what I want to accomplish, who I want to be, and what I want for my family. I want to talk about political agendas and favorite books. I want to talk about that embarrassing story you heard from my best friend and tell you all about my awkward phase. I want to be able to talk to someone who can carry on an intellectual conversation. But these are all just wants.
The first thing I told this guy was that I need to be more than someone's wife, but their best friend. I need someone who will teach our children all about the gospel with me, and how important it is, but will also take them outside and play with them, show them the earth and how it was made just for us and how we need to love and appreciate it. I could not stress enough to him how important family is to me. Having an eternal family is my number two goal in life - right after being the Christ Like woman that not only my future husband and children deserve, but my Heavenly Father knows I can be.
There were other things on that list I gave him. Like "must love dogs" and "watch Disney movies with me and then be able to watch nerd movies with me", and there were even things I didn't include in the list, like how I want someone who will kiss me on my forehead at night and tell me how much they love me, or just hold me when they know I need it. But the most important needs in my life are spiritual, because if we can nail those, everything else will fall into place. I have complete faith that my future husband will be perfect for me, and will have everything I need and more, and every day, I grow into the woman that is everything he could ever dream of and more. I can't wait until we get to have our forever.
