I won't hold my breath.

I'm not sad anymore.

I don't know how, but I got myself out of the rut I was in. I still feel sad when something sad happens - like surprises I knew were happening eventually, but I wasn't ready for. I really wasn't ready for. And I kind of, and very selfishly, wish didn't happen.

But I'm not sad anymore. When I wake up in the morning, the reason I don't want to get out of bed isn't because I don't want to face the world, but it's because I didn't get enough sleep because I was up too late watching Gossip Girl on netflix.

I feel like myself again. I want to be a part of people's lives. I want to make a difference. I want to get closer to becoming a mother, and everything I've been going through is going to not only bring me closer, but make me a better mom someday.

But I'm not going to hold my breath, and make myself believe that just because I'm okay now doesn't mean that I'm ready for all my dreams to come true right now. But they will. I know that they will. I just have to learn how to be patient and work with the world.