I was bored.

• I think my favorite color is blue. I'll get back to you.
• My favorite movie is (500) Days of Summer.
• My favorite thing to do is spend time with people I love.
• My best friend's name is Erin.
• My favorite thing to do alone is read.
• I like laid back music.
• The natural state of my hair is an afro. 
• My favorite flower is an echinopsis, or a cactus flower.
• While I like laid back music, my favorite music is strictly instrumental music. 
• I don't like people.
• I work in retail, so it's my job to like people.
• People suck.
• I don't like Twilight.
• I try not to be judgmental. 
• I have abandonment issues. 
• I love mascara. 
• Sometimes when I get hit on at work by a creepy person, I'll move my class ring to my ring finger, and if you glance at it, it looks like I'm engaged or married. 
• I HATE the song "Someone That I Used To Know" by Gotye. 
• I don't like Glee.
• I feel like a proud mother whenever I see a clip of Darren Criss on Glee, though.
• I have Christmas Lights hanging from my ceiling.
• I don't wear a lot of make up.
• I want to work for Child Protective Services. 
• I'm a sociology major.
• I should probably learn to like people.
• I don't ever want to have another roommate again unless it's my husband. 
• Maybe not even then. ;)
• I love adventures and doing crazy things. 
• I'll do anything once.
• I can make friendship bracelets. 
• I love reading. 
• Even though I dated someone for 2 1/2 years, I've only been on 5 dates in my life, and I only count 1 of them as a real date.
• I like sports.
• One day, I want to live in Australia. 

Why go down when you can just climb up?

Have you ever noticed that when just one aspect of your life goes wrong, no matter how amazing any of your other aspects are, you feel like wanting to die? This happens to me all the time. I fail a test - I'm going to die now. I say something stupid - I'm going to die now. I realize after a day of being in public, my outfit has something wrong with it - I'm going to die now. I mispronounce a word - I'm going to die now. He doesn't like me... - I'm going to die now. 

 I've known this for a while. I am smarter than I look, and I don't like putting out there that I am as smart as I am. (weirdly, I like it when people underestimate me, then I blow them away.) But I just didn't want to give up. I don't give up on things easily. I like following things through. I need things to go my way, even though they usually don't, and this time is no different. 

I've talked about him before, but since this blog post shouldn't be about that. We all know how this story ended. I just wish I would have gotten a chance. People don't ordinarily give me chances. I'm not the most attractive or prettiest girl in the world. I don't have mind blowing features, and I hide what I think is a good personality under this exterior that's frazzled, and jumpy, and a bit too much. I don't let people see that I'm hurt, but people hurt me all the time. I think we all deserve to be happy, so why can't I just let myself be happy? I have an amazing life! I'm healthy, I live in America, I have an amazing daddy, I have a job, I have the gospel in my life, Jesus Christ died for my sins, I have a temple recommend, and I have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I'm pretty damn lucky, and I need to stop being miserable and feeling sad all the time because the guy I liked for months won't ever like me. Some wonderful man will come along, and no one will be able to compare to him. I'm only 20 years old. I'm still young, and I still have a life to live. 

We're not always going to have perfect timing. We're not always going to get what we think we deserve at the time. We're not always going to get swept off our feet, and we're not always going to win first place. But there will be times when we will. There are times when our happiness will be so great that we won't even think of the bad times, and know that our Heavenly Father provides, and that every step is worth it. Some people will take more steps than others. Some have different purposes. So, instead of staying in the dark, in our low points of our lives, climb up until you reach the light?

I would personally like to thank Paula Burden for the excitement and love she has and shares, Candace Clemons for her natural curiosity, love, and all the laughter she brings my life, Ally Gesmundo for being someone who understands what I'm going through, and is there for me, Kassidy Mower for becoming one of my best friends, and people who keep my spirits up by her example, and Erin Anderton, who always will have a special place in my heart, and always knows how to cheer me up and make me feel like I deserve happiness, and for being more than just my best friend, but the real sister I never had and always wanted. I don't know what I did to deserve having her (and all my lovely amazing ladies!) in my life. God has truly blessed me with even knowing her, let alone giving me the privilege of having her in my life like she is. I don't know if any of these girls know just how much I love and respect them, and I will never know what I did in my life to deserve them as MY friends. I am so lucky and blessed. I will always be here for all of them. Always♥