Sandy Hook Elementary School

Today started out completely normal. I got out of bed, I got dressed, went to the bank, and then ate some lunch. I thought that it was pretty awesome that I didn't check my facebook or twitter feeds. I didn't think that today was a big deal, so I proceeded to eat my sandwich, watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother, and chuckled to myself as the comedy played on my screen. Then I checked twitter, and saw a dear friend's tweet about her extended family suffering on the east coast.

I immediately moved to my computer from my phone, and investigated more, and I couldn't believe what I was reading and seeing. Video clips of children being guided around, crying and holding on to each other. Articles saying that the shooter not only killed 20 children, 6 adults, but among the adults is his own mother, who was a teacher's aide at Sandy Hook, before taking his own life.

It is a terrible tragedy, today on December 14th. I can't even imagine the pain and suffering that the families of the murdered are going through. The parents of these innocent children are never going to see these beautiful angels grow up. They're not going to be able to hug or kiss their kids. They're not going to be able to hear their babies say "I love you, Mommy!" or "I love you, Daddy!" or embarrass them to their friends or future boyfriends or girlfriends. They're not going to be able to ground them for doing something stupid or praise them for doing something great. I'm not a parent yet, but I think that this is one of my worst nightmares.

I think the worst part about this whole thing is that those kids that survived are going to be scarred for life. They're going to have to go through life after witnessing this tragedy, and maybe, when they've grown up, they won't remember it every day, but this is the kind of thing that will haunt their nightmares. It will be the kind of thing that will cause them to distance themselves. It will be the kind of thing that they won't get over in a day, or month, or maybe even this lifetime. These survivors are going to ask themselves, "Why me? Why did I survive? Why did God let this happen to my friends? Why did this happen at all? How could someone be so completely heartless and do this? I was so young."

I'm praying for the families of the little children, but not just the ones that had a terrible ending, but the survivors as well. I'm praying that parents who lost their angels will know that their angels are now with our Father in Heaven now, and they're in a safe place, waiting for them to pass on and be with them. I pray that they won't be scared that their kids are gone forever, because they're not. They're going to follow you and help you. They're going to be your angels still. I'm praying for the families of the survivors and for the survivors themselves, that they will be able to be normal kids one day. That they won't have to fear everything. I can't even imagine how scared these kids and families are right now. And I'm praying that they won't feel like they have to be.

Today started out completely normal. They got out of bed, got dressed, probably ate some breakfast, and went off to school and work. They didn't think today was a big deal. It's almost Christmas, and the 7th day of Hanukkah! It's a time to celebrate and be with our families and it's almost winter break! They weren't ready for it. They weren't expecting it. It ended in tragedy. Please join me in praying for these families, and please pray for your own families. Let them know as often as you can how much you love them. Please hug them and kiss them. You never know when you're going to lose them.

This is what I want.

Today, I cried in front of my manager. It wasn't a bad cry. She didn't make me cry. I didn't do anything bad or wrong. But it wasn't a happy cry, either.

I don't really tell people this, but I have always felt like I'm destined for great things. Like I'm meant to be a leader. Like I have so much potential to be the very best, but I have never had a real opportunity to prove it. It's not like I haven't tried. Like I haven't put myself out there, and sometimes I've been successful. Sometimes, good things do come out of it. But it's never the absolute best work I can do. It's never enough for me to make myself proud.

My whole life, I feel like I've been in the shadows of other people, whether it's looks or talents, work ethic or performance, I'm always second best or not even given a second look. People don't give me a chance to prove my worth. And lately, I've felt that more than ever.

Today, I cried. It was just so overwhelming when I was discussing with my manager why I want the promotion that I want. I told my manager that I want it because of how I feel when I am working. How I feel like I've finally found my thing, the thing I'm not only good at: the thing that I'm the best at, and how I want to be a leader. I want to be able to guide people to feeling like I feel, and how important it is to me to be able to be that leader. I poured my heart out as I told them this, and how badly I want this. How, right now, I want it more than anything else, and I know I would be the absolute very best for the job. Why? Because I think that this job is meant for my 21 year old self.

Do I want to be at this store forever? No. Will I still be there at this time next year? Maybe. If I get this promotion, I would like to be around for a while. If I don't, well I have options and over a year of retail experience on the floor, behind the scenes, and at the register. I honestly have a world of opportunities. But right now, what's right for me is this promotion. It really means a lot to me. Honestly, it means the absolute most to me out of anything I could ever explain to anyone. I want it more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I want to be proud of myself for being the absolute best at something, and I know that this, right now, is it, and I'm ready for my time to shine.

Be a Thunderstorm.

(Photo Credit to Andrew Avanessian)

When I was younger, during a thunderstorm, I would keep myself up, sit on my bed which I had moved in front of my window, and I would watch the lightning. Tonight  I find myself doing the same thing. Of course, when I was younger, it was out of fear. I had the fear that my house, out of all the houses in my neighborhood or in the valley, would be struck by lightning and burn down, and that me staying up and keeping watch would stop it. I felt like, if my dad were aware of the dangers that lightning and thunderstorms bring, he would be the one staying up and protecting our home, but he also needed sleep, so it was up to me.

Some nights (I stay up, cashing in my bad luuuuck) I still stay up during thunderstorms, like I am right now, sitting on my back patio under the gazebo/awning thing my house has going on with my laptop, listening to the rain gently fall occasionally, while I listen to the booms of thunder and watch the flashes of light. There's something majestic about them now. It's powerful, I knew that even as a child, but now it's almost beautiful and inspiring. It almost makes me want to live my life as a thunderstorm - Beautiful and Powerful are two adjectives I would use to describe it. But there's more: terrifying, unpredictable, strong, mysterious, fearful. And those adjectives appeal to me as well. I feel like those are respectable traits, and I want to be respected: like a thunderstorm. And you don't mess around with thunderstorms. I don't want to be messed around with.

I'm still scared of some things. I'm scared of airplanes and airplane crashes. (Which was very interesting on the plane to Hawaii. Before takeoff, I sent a text to my dad before turning my phone onto airplane mode that said: I have a feeling I'm going to die. How do I get off and get a refund? Then he laughed at me when we landed in Honolulu and I was alive and eating spam musubi.) I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of not succeeding. I'm scared of spiders. And I'm terrified that I'm going to end up alone.

I seem to have a lot of fight in me. I can't really come up with anything I'm scared of, because I haven't been in too many fearsome situations, but I'd like to say that I'm really not scared of anything. I feel like I have like a survivor type instinct, so that when things happen, like when two guys break down my front door, or I get lost in a random area in Utah and I'm on foot, or I'm alone in public at 1 in the morning after work, where I just don't get scared or think of the worst possible out come and I just do anything I can to protect myself, or in the case of my house getting broken into while being home alone, mine and my family's home. I seem fearless.

To me, a thunderstorm is fearless, but I still have so many fears, whether they be out in the open or still uncovered within myself. How do I face my fears and become fearless? Can I make that fear that I have project onto someone else, making me the feared one? Do I truly want to do that? Or do I want to show that I am scared, but I'm stronger and I can beat my fear?

I think my goal is one day to have something called a "Samanthastorm." I think that sounds dangerous and awesome. Kind of like a majestic thunder and lightning storm.

I have been changed for good

This one is for you girls. The ones who have stayed by my side and kept me strong. The ones that love me no matter how badly I screw up. The ones I consider my best friends. The ones I consider sisters. You've helped me through so much, and I can never thank any of you enough.

Thank you for the love. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for everything.

(Lindsey, we need to take more pictures together! This was as close as I could get!)

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good ♥

Take what you need.

Love, Hope, Faith, Patience, Courage, Understanding, Peace, Passion, Healing, Strength, Beauty, Freedom. What would you reach for first? Would you reach for love? Because as humans, we all have the need to feel loved. Would it be hope? Hope that one day you'll be rich and happy? Or would you reach for faith, wanting to believe in something? Patience? So you can wait for the perfect fairytale ending? Courage? So you can stand up for what you believe in? Would you take understanding, so that you can understand that things happen for a reason? Maybe peace? Peace of mind, do you need it? Passion? Do you want to feel passionate about a person? Talent? Healing? Maybe your heart is broken and it needs healing. Do you need strength to finish out this day? Year? Lifetime? Do you not feel pretty? Maybe you think the people you surround yourself with are more appealing than you? Beauty is for you. But what if you feel trapped? In a job? Home? Relationship? Take some freedom, maybe even courage, and I promise things will be fine.

I know a girl. She was desperate for love, and she didn't want to show it. And after she had loved and lost, she tried to fill the void. Eventually, she grew tired and was tired of hurting. She finally stopped caring, and love found her. She's now married to her best friend and true love of her life.

What do you hope for? I hope for a lot of things. I feel like I hope for more than I get, actually.

I have faith that one day you all will share the same faith and love I have for our Lord and Savior!

Patience is one thing that I feel I truly need. In my Patriarchal Blessing, it calls out my impatience and how I need to work on it. I know that hard work and patience will pay off in the end, but it is so hard when you really want something, and sometimes really deserve something. Sometimes, I get frustrated and I just break down. It's hard wanting something when you can't have it. Sometimes it brings me to tears. I feel like some things I've waited my whole life for, and when I get a chance, they get ripped away from me. I wish I had patience in my pocket to remind me to be patient, because my plan is different from anyone else's plan, and at the perfect time, everything will work out and my joy will be at its greatest.

I would say I would have to pass on courage most days. I'm a pretty bold and brave person. But sometimes nerves will get to me. Maybe courage would be nice to play with on a rainy day.

I feel like patience and understanding go hand and hand for me. I need to understand why things happen and understand that having patience is a good thing.

As a Sales Associate that works in a mall, I would say I need peace most days when dealing with miserable people that just like to make other people upset.

I feel like I used to be a passionate person. I was passionate about music, dancing, sports, everything that I did, I threw myself into it, but after rejection, failing, and the fear of making a fool out of myself, I can't find that passionate person that I used to be. But it's not just those 3 things that I'm scared of. It's being passionate with another person. I'm always going to be scared that I'm not going to be enough for them and that the passion or love between us will stop. That I won't be enough.

After every crush gets crush, relationship breaks, or even every rejection, we all need a little healing ♥

Sometimes after putting so much hard work into something, I don't have the strength to finish. Sometimes I need that strength to finish.

Every person in the world will be able to relate with me: I've never felt like the most beautiful or attractive person. Ever. I surround myself with prettier and skinnier people. People who get double takes or second looks. Then there's me. I get passed up. If I could, I would take beauty, and I would tape it to my forehead. That would get the double takes! Maybe even triple takes... I've faced it. I've even wrote about it. In this blog post, I've wrote about how I'm insecure, and how I know pretty much everyone in the world is, too. But that still doesn't stop the insecure thoughts that run through my mind constantly. The thoughts that run through my head telling me I'll never be beautiful enough for him, and that's all I want to be. Sometimes I wish if I were just prettier, or if I only had her skin or her body, maybe he would feel the same way? Maybe he would want to be with me as much as I want to be with him. Maybe he would just give me the one chance that I've always wanted someone to give me. The chance to prove myself. The chance to be his...

Maybe all I need to freedom to leave and find myself. But out of these, I think I would pull Patience and Beauty off the wall. What would you pull off and stick in your pocket? Or would you hold it close to your heart, hoping that little word will rub off on you like I know I would?

I hope you find the words you're looking for, because I found mine.

Sometimes, this is what is on my mind.

Well, I have to be up in... 5 hours to get ready for work. My eyes are wide open with no sign of getting heavy soon, and my heart, well, I don't know what it's doing.

I don't know exactly what made me want to write about this, but here I am, writing.

I'm writing about marriage.

I was engaged once. He was my third relationship, but I really try not to count the first two second relationship I was in. But I was in love with Donald Patrick Liebold. He made me melt like a popsicle on the Fourth of July. I loved him more than I could ever imagine loving anyone. We were together for almost exactly 2 and a half years. That's a really long time. That's pretty much the amount of time one would spend in Law School and study for The Bar if you didn't could summer breaks. That's enough time to let someone become your whole world.

Close your eyes. Now open them real fast and keep reading. Imagine a nice daisy. Imagine it growing out of the grass in someone's yard. You think it's so pretty that you want it. You want to keep it. For yourself or to give to a pretty girl or something. (I don't know what boys do with flowers?) You take it home, and you put it on the table. This flower, this daisy, begins to wilt over a few hours. Then the petals slowly begin to drop, one by one. Then you realize your pretty daisy is dead because you took away its life source, and your table isn't its matching life source.

Sometimes, when I think of Don, I think of that. Sure. Don's still around. We still talk. He still exists. He's well, and he's moved on as I have. But he's not mine anymore. When the daisy was taken from its home, it didn't belong to you. But you wanted it so bad.

Now, I'm not saying that someone took Don, or that I took him from someone. I'm saying that I, as much as I wanted to be, wasn't going to be the best home for him. I wasn't going to be his matching life source. I wasn't going to be his matching anything. We would fight a lot. Whenever the other didn't like something the other one did. But I still loved him. I loved that boy more than I loved anything. I was compromising to be with him. I was going to end up giving up my family, friends, life, and religion.

But I learned so much. I learned exactly what I don't want in my future marriage.

I don't believe in divorce. I've been in the middle of one and it tore me apart. Sometimes I still cry when I think about it. Because I am not currently going to be with my family forever. Not unless I plan on doing temple work when I can. (Which I do.) But what if something happens to me and I can't do it? Who will do it. Who will take the time to seal a broken family back together? Who will make one of my only dreams come true?

Sometimes it all really hits me. My parents won't be able to see me get married. My daddy won't be there. My mommy won't be able to help me get into my wedding dress or fix my hair. Neither of them will be there to wipe away the tears of happiness I'll have when I get to be sealed together for time and all eternity with the man I will marry someday. (Because, let's get real: TEMPLE MARRIAGE OR PEACE.)

I'm not going to put my future children in the same position I'm in. I'm still so upset for myself that I potentially gave my children a similar position, let alone a harder one. A Catholic father and a Mormon mother. Who would go to church with who? What would they believe? How do people in that position deal with that? Deal with the guilt of not giving your children a chance to be with you forever? I could never live with that.

I know one day that I will marry a worth priesthood holder in The Holy House of The Lord. My Lord. And that our children will never have to worry about all the "what if's" that I grew up with in my mind.

Donald: There is always going to be this place for you in my heart. Not the same kind of place as before, but a place of love and friendship. In ways, I consider you one of the best friends I've ever had. You did care about what I had to say. You cared about me. You loved me for who I was and how weird I was. (I still am. Whatever.) I listened to our song today. I got the biggest smile on my face, because that song holds some happy memories. But I can't take your hand anymore. You're not mine. You and Samantha (I still find that ironic.) are going to have a wonderful life together, and I am so happy for you! You deserve happiness, and I knew that I would never be able to make you as happy as someone else. Good luck <3

Future Husband: The wait will be worth it. I'm sure I'll love you immensely and that you're absolutely perfect for me, and all the decisions I'm making now are for us <3 I can't wait to finally meet you.

Stronger

I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this blog entry. This entry isn't about you. It isn't about him. It isn't about her. It's about me. It's about how I've grown from who I've been and how I continue to grow into a not a completely different person, but someone who I never thought that I could be.

When I think about the girl I was when I was 18 years old, I didn't really like myself. I had no self confidence. I was in a relationship, and I had been with him for a year at this point in my life. I really loved him, and I kind of regret it. I could have been doing other things. I could have been dating other people. I would probably still have a friend that I lost over him. Maybe my dad wouldn't be so overprotective when it comes to guys I date if I didn't spend all that time on him. Everything I did revolved around him. If I ever did something that didn't revolve around him, we would fight. I don't want to dwell on that anymore. I don't need to, because that is my past.

I think about who I was at 19. I was just starting the life that I have now. I broke up with the one constant in my life. The only comfortable thing in my life. The only person I could see myself with for the rest of my life, but that was it. I wouldn't be able to be with him forever.

Well, I was shy, but I usually am really shy until you get to know me. But then, I feel like I found myself in the Royal Mesa Ward. I found the funny, happy person I am today. I've made friendships I never thought possible, and I've made memories I never thought I would or could ever make. I've done things and been places I never thought I would go.

Next, I grew into a 20 year old woman, and I found myself growing. Evolving. Making a turn into someone I always dreamed of being. Someone confident and fun. Someone who could have someone's attention. I had friends! I would go on dates! I would do things with new people. I found myself making spontaneous trips to Utah with a ward I had never spent a minute in, and ended up bonding with them and making new friendships I never expected. I lived with a roommate for a period of time, and learned how hard it is, and though it's nice, there's nothing like coming home to your loving family and being welcomed back. Especially at 20 years old when you have no idea what you're doing and no idea to where you're going with your life.

I've been on so many crazy adventures, and I've met so many amazing people, bonding with them and making amazing friendships. As I begin my 21st year of life, I am already so excited and ready to keep going in the direction I'm going with my life. I know that I'm on the right path, and that The Lord will continue to bless me as I follow his commandments and live righteously. I can never thank him enough for this amazing life I'm living.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for loving me enough to let me live in this amazing world. I love you.

Goals

If you write down your goals on a social networking platform, you're more likely to actually go through with them. So, here it goes...

• Don't die.
• Kill a spider.
• Get over irrational hatred for ants.
• Get in a bar fight.
• Save a life.

Okay. Those aren't really goals.

But I do have a goal that I'm setting, but won't be starting until it gets cooler/my neurologist says it's okay.

But I'm going to start running. 

I SAID IT.

IT IS HERE.

IN WRITING.

I'M GOING TO DO IT.

My Bachelorette Prediction:

With only 6 contestants left, I'm starting a new kind of post on my blog. For those of you who read my twitter know how I get into The Bachelor/ette. Sadly, this season, I haven't be too crazy with the live tweeting when I watch the week's episode like I was with Ben's Season of The Bachelor, but I still feel like you can get a decent amount of Emily Maynard tweets.

It's no secret that I hated last season, and I'm surprised with all the feelings I had that I didn't blog about my fierce hatred for Courtney and my complete sadness that Kacie B. was eliminated because of her father. And Courtney's manipulative ways. Whore.

WELL - After taking notes the past seasons of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor Pad, this is my official prediction on who will get The Final Rose this season of The Bachelorette and why:

Jef Holm - and no, I don't say this because I tend to be fond of hipsters, and he has the look of a hipster, persona of James Dean, and is a sweet man inside (from what we can tell on national television), but I say this because of a few simple facts:

• Bentley. Remember on Ashley's season, that douche bag/tool that was only on the show to promote his day care in SLC? Remember how he left week 3 and came back during week 6? Remember how that night she had a date with JP? Guess who is marrying Ashley? J freaking P. Joseph Gordon-Levitt look alike. He was there during her time of heart break. He was patient with her. And he treated her with kindness, respect, and eventually love. Or whatever this show produces that seems to be more than lust, but I don't believe that it's really love. 
• He impressed her on NIGHT ONE. Remember during Ben's season when what's her face came riding in on a horse? She was the runner up to the evil Courtney. But I still refuse to acknowledge her because she's not Kacie B. But he impressed her, riding in on a skateboard, then throwing it away like a total bad-a. He had my heart then, too. 
• He doesn't really fight for her attention. It really actually bothered me that Doug, even though he didn't actually hear Kalon talk about how her daughter was baggage went ahead with the glory to tell Emily. IT WAS JEF WHO KALON WAS TALKING ABOUT IT WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE. Seriously? I mean, I get it, I totally get it. Doug, you're a single dad. You would want to kick this guy's white rear if he was talking about your son as baggage, but it was NOT your place. Jef, who actually heard it, didn't need to fight for Emily's attention and tell her on a group date as a pathetic attempt to get a rose. (Can you tell I don't really like Doug?)
• He's not petty. Like Vienna. Case closed.
• And he looks like James Dean.
• And he's sweet.
• I've already said both of those. I don't care. It's my blog.

But look at this guy, if Emily ends up not giving him the final rose, I'll go find him. 

Jef Holm, I'm yo fangirl.

Cliche Holiday Blogpost

Today, as most everyone is well aware of, is Father's Day. Everyone was expressing their gratitude towards their father's publicly, and I've never really done this. As of the past 2 years, I've been trying to stay away from being a cliche facebooker, even though I know I'll post something cliche/dumb/mainstream/plain stupid, there's a few things I try to stray away from doing: wishing everyone happy holidays, did you see the basketball game (but I totally did, HEAT), vaguebooking (which I have been doing lately. SORRY. I just had to be dumb and check in at the hospital then tell no one why I was in said hospital. I had a seizure, in case you all were curious), and posting things about my non-existent boyfriend and how amazing my non-existent boyfriend is and how I love him after dating 30 minutes.

I save that for twitter! Holler.

But today, I will be writing a cliche blog about how lucky I am to be spawned from my father.

Even though my parents were both raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, people make mistakes, and sometimes these mistakes turn into babies. That's me. I'm one of those kids. My dad married my mom to make things right, and they both did the best they could for a long time. They even raised another awesome son together! Just think of it, the world wouldn't have ME or Clayton Larsen if our parents didn't diddle it before marriage. Most of your lives wouldn't be that different, but who knows what would happen to some of the people I'm really close to.

So, now that you have that piece of information, it's easy to figure out that my parents are divorced. My home became a 3 member house hold around my junior year of high school. Me, my brother, and my dad, who ultimately took on a large role in my life. Without my mom really being around, my dad began taking on a mothering role in mine and my brother's lives. Sure, my mom was still around to help sometimes, but I could count on getting places, being fed, gas money, clothes money, school money, etc. from my daddy. 

In my life, if I find myself in a sticky situation, I know, in the end after trying to problem solve, I can turn to my father. There's so many things that he's helped me out with. He even helped me with my last class I needed to graduate from high school. He helped me finish my senior memory book, yes, that means my father helped me with a scrapbooking project. 

He honestly should have all but killed me for so many stupid things I've done. I technically have committed grand theft auto, taking out the car that ended up being mine out for rides when I was not a licensed driver, and just had my permit. He's caught me, and I'm seriously so surprised that I'm not dead from that. When he found out how many times I ditched my math class junior year, I'm surprised he helped me with my class senior year when I needed to re-take it. And that he didn't kill me. I'm surprised he paid for the garage door that broke after I backed into it with his Ford F-150 and didn't make me pay for it. I'm always going to be surprised he hasn't made me pay him back for the year when every single month my phone bill was 100 dollars or more over what he should be paying. Or the one time the land line bill was 600 dollars from the time I dropped my phone in the toilet and I needed to talk to my boyfriend of the time every night. 

I know my dad loves me more than anything. He shows his love for me every day. Every day is Samantha Day when it should be the other way around. I run to him with so many problems. Every day I should be celebrating my dad! Not just this one day in scolding hot June! 

Daddy, I love you. You're the best daddy I could ever ask for! 

The one about the ants.

It's that time of the year again - the time of year when it's starting to get a little too hot outside, and creepy crawlies make their way into their own little paradise: our homes. Our homes have everything they want! Cool air, fresh food, and plenty of places to hide.

Last July, my creative mind, dark past, and nightmares gave you this gem. The story of how I came to hate the demon seed on this earth known as ants. I like to believe that when I wrote that, all the ants would know that I blogged about them, and would stop vacationing in my house. I mean, I was just hoping for that, but alas, they returned.

I don't really feel the need to kill ants outside of my home, usually. But there's the occasion when I could be sitting in the grass reading, and one casually crawls onto my book, or leg, or arm, or is even in the same area as me. It needs to die.

My house is victim once again to this nightmare. My kitchen and bathrooms. I conveniently sleep with a can of Raid, so the second I saw one making its way up my shower wall, not only did I scrub my shower with bleach to get rid of the scent it leaves behind, but I took my handy dandy can of raid, and I made a barrier between my room and the rest of the house.

I feel like this summer, victory is mine. You know, except for the spider bite I'm pretty sure I got 2 weeks ago. For those of you know me well, spiders are one of my worst fears. So this was like one of my worst fears coming true. There was a spider somewhere in my room. It feasted upon my flesh. Can I die from this?

The one about Erin.

This is Erin Eleyse Anderton Bybee. Most of you know she is my best friend in the whole world. I've known her for going on 9 years now. We met at an Achievement Days pool party, and we were sitting in the hot tub making fun of the other girls together. Well, 9 years later, and she's making fun of me, and I'm making fun of her. 

But, despite our perfect meeting, Erin and I weren't "best friends" until my sophomore year of high school. We had been friends, and we have stories we can share before our epic best friendship began, like me falling off a cliff, almost dying, almost dying, almost dying, young women activities, and various random times we hung out. 

I always liked Erin before we got as close to where I could call her my sister. She was always nice to me, and in middle school, that meant the world to me. She always had Christ-like attributes, even when everyone else around her could have been telling her to not be nice or not be a genuine person. 

I feel very fortunate to have been the only one in our group of friends at the time to have the same lunch as her going on 7 school years ago. It was probably the only real thing I'll ever consider lucky in my life. We were able to bond in that 30 minutes, which led to hanging out after school, telling secrets, spending hours together not in school or church. It led to her joining choir. It led to me finding another family for when I would be in a time in my life where I felt like I didn't have a family to go to. 9 years ago, I would have never known that any of this would happen. That I would be a part of a duo. The Sam and Erin duo. 

Over these years of laughing, joking, fighting, crying, talking, and just being in complete silence together because there were no words needed, she didn't just become my best friend. She became the sister I always wanted, that I always asked my parents to adopt, that I always said I would share everything with, but never got, you know, in legal terms. But I did get the sister I always wanted. I got the family and backbone that I needed to be my own person. Erin Anderton hasn't just been my best friend. She's been a teacher, a loving person, and one of the greatest examples of a person in my life. She's my best friend, and the love I have for her rivals my love for a lot of things. Like food, boys, Harry Potter, my dog, shoes, online shopping, Cafe Rio, powerade, Las Vegas summer heat, Hawaii, New York, cabins, lions, and many more things. Basically, I love her a lot. And when I get married, there's a possibility that I might love her more than my future husband. So, here is some choice photos of us. (and others)

(This was our very first picture we actually took together and not as a group at a church activity!)

I'm definitely lucky, proud, and so grateful that Mrs. Bybee as my best friend!