Is it when you graduate high school? Is it when you start going to college? Is it after you graduate college, have your career, and are paying all your own bills? Is it when you're going to college, living on your own, paying your own bills? Is it when you live on your own in general? Is there an actual age? When are you not just an adult by law, but in your own mind?
Since the beginning of October, this has been the only real thing on my mind. Am I an adult now? I'm 20 years old, and I want the world to see me as an adult. What would I have to do for people who always saw me as a child see me as the adult I was and still am becoming?
Well, I had the month of October to figure it all out. Being an adult is not always what you think it is when you're so sheltered and given everything you need to survive. It's not glamorous. It's all about hard work, dedication, and never giving up. You can't just give up and be a kid again! You can't just call into work when you don't want to go in and tell them you're not showing up. You can't just do whatever you want. Sure, you can, but there's consequences. You call into work, tell them you're not coming, that's a day's pay you're not getting, and you can lose your job from it. You don't pay rent, you'll get eviction notices. Don't pay your phone bill? It'll get shut off. Sure, I haven't and don't plan on not going into work, just because I don't feel like it. (Sure, I'm lucky I freaking love my job.) I paid my bills. It freaking sucks when you get your pay check and you have to give up almost all of it for rent and then other various things.
But it's not all bad.
There's freedom! You get to do what you want, when you have time, and you can do it exactly how you want. You can eat what you want, sleep when you want, do what you want. You don't have to clean your room. You don't have to do anything you really don't want to.
I've never been more grateful for my dad and the rules he's given me. I like having a curfew. I like having to keep things clean. My parents giving me a bed time was just a way for preparing me. Sure, staying up late can be "fun", but sleep is important. My parents giving me a curfew was just their way of loving me and keeping me safe. My parents wanting me to keep my room and bathroom clean was just preparing me for when I live on my own so I don't live in a mess. You take these life lessons for granted when you don't have to use them.
So, what do I want to be when I grow up? What are my plans? Will I want the same thing in a year? 6 months? A day? Am I going to want the same things for myself? I ask myself these questions every day. I think, what if I were to start having kids before I get my degree. Will I be able to handle all the emotions of having my own family, raising children, and then working for Child Protective Services on top of that? Will I be able to give my children the love and attention that they need, but still love and care for these kids that will need me? Or will I just keep my job at Dick's Sporting Goods forever and not pursue something I've wanted for so long because I'm scared?
I love my job, don't get me wrong. It's a really good fit for me, and I love my co-workers, and all my managers and CSS's are really great and helpful! I was born to work at Dick's and sell balls (heh) and be obnoxious on my radio whenever someone has a call or I need help with something new that I've never done before. But I honestly love my job. Working for a sporting goods store is really good for me, and I love sports more than I ever have. I can even tolerate watching sports on tv now without complaining because I want to play.
Growing up takes time. You can't grow up in a minute, hour, day, or even month, really. I'm definitely growing up and getting more mature with all my new experiences in life. I don't stay up until 4 am blogging. (weird) and I don't stay out until 3 am with friends anymore. Sure, some nights I want to, but when you have work the next morning and you know you're going to be up on your feet, dealing with sometimes mean customers, it's not the greatest idea. It's all about doing the right thing. That's what growing up is.
So, what do I want to be when I grow up? What are my plans? Will I want the same thing in a year? 6 months? A day? Am I going to want the same things for myself? I ask myself these questions every day. I think, what if I were to start having kids before I get my degree. Will I be able to handle all the emotions of having my own family, raising children, and then working for Child Protective Services on top of that? Will I be able to give my children the love and attention that they need, but still love and care for these kids that will need me? Or will I just keep my job at Dick's Sporting Goods forever and not pursue something I've wanted for so long because I'm scared?
I love my job, don't get me wrong. It's a really good fit for me, and I love my co-workers, and all my managers and CSS's are really great and helpful! I was born to work at Dick's and sell balls (heh) and be obnoxious on my radio whenever someone has a call or I need help with something new that I've never done before. But I honestly love my job. Working for a sporting goods store is really good for me, and I love sports more than I ever have. I can even tolerate watching sports on tv now without complaining because I want to play.
Growing up takes time. You can't grow up in a minute, hour, day, or even month, really. I'm definitely growing up and getting more mature with all my new experiences in life. I don't stay up until 4 am blogging. (weird) and I don't stay out until 3 am with friends anymore. Sure, some nights I want to, but when you have work the next morning and you know you're going to be up on your feet, dealing with sometimes mean customers, it's not the greatest idea. It's all about doing the right thing. That's what growing up is.
